


Rain Check

by rai_m



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Break Up, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 20:59:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14028621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rai_m/pseuds/rai_m
Summary: Rafael owes Sonny a drink. For four years.





	Rain Check

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Astronaut_Milky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astronaut_Milky/gifts).



> For the lovely Astronaut_Milky who has always been way too nice to me, I offer birthday fluff and the requisite light angst in return. Happy birthday!

**_\- i -_ **

Sonny had never been a big birthday person. He’d had a few parties when he was a kid, but there was always one cousin whose nose was put out of joint when they weren’t invited, or one sister who would end up in tears because the presents weren’t for her, so the parties had been scrapped in favor of a (relatively) quiet dinner with family. Since he’d moved to Manhattan that tradition had mostly stopped, but Bella was fighting with Tommy over something, so she’d called him up that morning and told him she was taking him to a bar. He was secretly grateful. Even if he didn’t really celebrate his birthday, some acknowledgment was nice, and he wasn’t close enough with his new squad yet to suggest they grab a drink after work.

He probably shouldn’t complain about the company then, even if Bella had spent the last half hour listing all of Tommy’s faults, and she’d made him go up to the bar for the third time in 20 minutes to order a cocktail at a place where the cocktail menu seemed like something of an afterthought.

The bar was busy for a Wednesday night and he shifted over as someone else pushed through to order a drink.

“Can I get three more Coronas and whatever was in this?”

Sonny looked over in surprise at the sound of the familiar voice. He hadn’t been with SVU long but he had enough of an impression of their ADA that he didn’t expect to find him in a bar with framed hockey jerseys on the wall.

“Hey counselor,” he greeted brightly, and he could swear Barba actually cringed before he turned round.

“Detective Carisi.”

“Didn’t expect to find you in a place like this.”

“Why not?” Barba raised a challenging eyebrow. Sonny fumbled for some kind of answer, then Barba’s expression softened as he seemed to take pity on him. “I was at a conference, this was the closest place that served alcohol.” He nodded towards a table towards the back of the bar where three tired looking people were draped. “It’s been a long day.”

“Sorry. What was the conference about?”

“Law.”

Sonny resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Right.” He drummed his fingers on the bar and wondered if he stared at the barman long enough he’d come back quicker. “I’m just here with my sister,” he said, always uncomfortable with lengthy silences. “It’s my birthday, so…”

“Happy birthday,” Barba said automatically.

“Thanks.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked, with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Sonny was almost tempted to say yes, just to see his reaction, but he figured the brief moment of amusement wouldn’t be worth it in the long run.

“I just ordered, thanks though.” As he spoke the barman returned with his drinks: a beer and what looked like a bucket of something orange with about 14 umbrellas in it. Barba watched with a smirk as he tried to balance it without sloshing half the liquid out of the glass. “Well. It was good to see you.”

“Hm.” Barba turned his attention back to the bar.

Admiring how quickly Barba could end a conversation without the help of a door to close in his face, Sonny made his way back to Bella without another word. He wondered if he should have tried to talk more about the conference, accepted the offer of a drink and made better small talk. After all, networking was important if he wanted to be a lawyer. He glanced back at Barba, hunched over the bar deliberately not looking at anyone, and chuckled. Networking was all well and good, but with some people it was pointless to try.

 

**_\- ii -_ **

The drinks were ostensibly to celebrate winning the case, but then Rollins had wished him a happy birthday and suddenly Liv was giving a surprisingly heartfelt speech and Fin and Dodds were clapping him on the back. It was nice, he thought, as he sat in a booth nursing a glass of Coke and watching his friends laugh. It had been a while since he’d found somewhere he felt so comfortable.

Rollins nudged him out of his reverie with a foot. “So. You have any big plans for your birthday?”

He shook his head. “Not really. I think I might call round and see Bella at the weekend.” He looked over his shoulder at the door. “Didn’t Barba say he was coming?”

“Liv said he had some work to finish off, but he’d try.” She looked at him over the rim of her glass. “You did good, Carisi, but if you’re waiting for a pat on the back from Barba…”

“That’s not…” He bit back the automatic, slightly hysterical, denial, and took a breath. “I just want to thank him for letting me help out on the case. He didn’t have to do that.”

“Uh huh.” She looked over his shoulder and raised her chin in greeting. “Well, here’s your chance.”

Sonny spun round a little too quickly in his seat. Barba had stopped to talk with Liv, pulling his coat and scarf off and laying them on the stool next to her at the bar. He was smiling in that way he did for Liv, and Sonny had a flash of jealousy that he immediately felt ridiculous for. He was about to get up and walk over to them when Barba beat him to it, patting Liv on the arm and making his way over to their table.

“Good job today counselor,” Rollins said with a tip of her glass.

“We got there in the end.” He turned towards Sonny. “Detective—”

“I’m going to go talk to Liv," Amanda interrupted, pulling herself out of the booth.

Barba frowned at her as she passed, but just shook his head and slipped into her seat. “I can’t stay long, I just wanted to say good job. On the case, you did… well, it was good.”

Sonny felt his face heat up and was grateful for the dim light of the bar. “Yeah, sure. I mean, I was just helping with paperwork.”

“You picked up on some things I didn’t,” Barba said, cutting him off. “I’m not saying you were always right, but you gave me some things to think about.”

“Thanks, counselor.” He couldn’t help the grin that broke out over his face. “You can relax now, you got through a whole compliment.”

“Do you want me to take it back?”

“No,” Sonny laughed. “Sorry. What do you want to drink? For the compliment and for letting me work on the case.”

“I should be buying you a drink.” At Carisi’s frown, he smiled, just barely. “It's your birthday, right?”

Sonny’s stomach did an involuntary flip. He’d never mentioned his birthday to Barba. “Oh, yeah. You talk to the Lieu?”

“No,” Barba said softly. “So, drink?” 

The yes almost slipped out automatically, before Sonny shook himself and remembered where he was. “I’m actually going to have to take a rain check on that one. Technically I’m still on duty.”

Barba raised an amused eyebrow. “That would sound a lot more conscientious if you weren’t sitting in a bar in front of half a basket of chicken wings.”

“Hey, they have my cell if they need me,” Sonny grinned. “Anyway, it’s my birthday.”

“Yes it is.” Barba looked at him, his eyes soft, and Sonny was having a hard time explaining away the thumping in his chest. “I should go. I’ll owe you that drink.”

He brushed past Sonny as he left, which was entirely unnecessary given that the bar wasn’t exactly crowded. Sonny turned to watch him go out the door, in time to catch the quick turn of Barba’s head back towards the booth, and the smile he didn’t quite cover.

 

**_\- iii -_ **

“Carisi, it’s your birthday. Let me buy you one drink. It might cheer you up.”

Sonny huffed. He wanted nothing more than to say no and just go home, but he knew he’d been a drag to deal with the last few months and he probably owed Rollins several drinks just for putting up with him.

So he agreed, and she dragged him to Forlini’s, where they immediately ran into Liv and Rafael. Because of course that would happen.

Rollins greeted them both with a smile. She didn’t know. That was part of the problem, of course. That no one had known, that Rafael got tired of being treated like a ‘dirty little secret’. His words.

Sonny hadn’t been ready. It was one thing to be out with the squad. It was another thing to be out, dating his squad’s ADA, and his lieutenant’s best friend. It was a lot, and he needed to be sure it was worth it before telling them. He’d told Rafael that, not in so many words, and the look he’d gotten in return had felt like a punch in the chest. Still, Rafael had stayed with him, and he hadn’t asked about telling anyone again after that. They slept together, and kept their distance publicly, and the tension between them just kept growing until one stupid fight ended it all.

It was funny, Sonny had always worried that they were too different, but as it turned out the problem was they were too similar. They both dealt with fights by running away, by turning their backs and waiting for the other to reach out, or waiting for the mood to pass so they could pretend it never happened. The only difference was that where Rafael went quiet, Sonny didn’t. Sonny needled, and pushed, and prodded, looking for a reaction. Eventually he got one, a screaming fight in Rafael’s office that had Carmen leave for a 4pm lunch and had them throwing months of resentment and fear and anger at each other until Rafael told him to get out. He’d barely spoken to him since.

He realized belatedly Rollins had been talking to him. “What?”

“I said we’re going to the bathroom,” she repeated, looking over her shoulder at Liv. “Order me a beer.”

Liv and Rollins left, and he was unexpectedly alone with Rafael for the first time in a long time. Sonny leaned forward to look for someone behind the bar, because it seemed like a better idea than looking at Rafael.

“How’s it going?”

Sonny almost jumped at the question, despite how softly it was asked.

“It’s… yeah, fine,” he said. “Quiet, no new cases this week.”

“No, I mean…” Rafael sighed heavily. “Happy birthday, Sonny.”

Sonny faltered, and he felt his hand twitch to reach out and curl around Rafael’s own. He curled it into a fist instead. “Thanks.”

“Are you doing anything?”

“This.”

“Right.” Rafael tapped his finger on his glass. “Let me buy you a drink then.”

Sonny curled his fist tighter. He wanted to say yes. But one drink meant two meant talking meant more, and he was embarrassingly, ashamedly, still not ready. It would only end the same way, and he couldn’t go through that again.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

Rafael tapped his glass again, harder. He took a deep breath that Sonny could hear shake in his chest. “Tell Liv I’ll see her at work,” he said hoarsely, slipping off his chair and grabbing his coat in one swift motion. He was out the door before Sonny had the chance to turn around. Not that he would have.

 

**_\- iv -_ **

He hadn’t been alone on his birthday for years. He was starting to get used to it being A Thing, being with his friends, going out for a few drinks. Rollins had offered, but it was halfhearted. She was worried about Liv. She’d been quiet since Rafael left.

So had he.

He’d crashed onto the sofa as soon as he got in from work. He hadn’t even bothered turning the lights on. Just lying in the dark like a terrible cliché. His phone vibrated where he’d dropped it on the floor after pulling it out of his back pocket. He almost didn’t pick it up, but it was probably work, and self pity wasn’t a viable excuse for failing to respond. His heart stopped when he saw Rafael’s name, the message only three words long.

**Happy birthday, Sonny**

His hands tightened around the phone. He thought of a hundred responses. The first was to fling the phone across the room, but he’d paid a lot for it. Most of the others were some variety of go fuck yourself, why did you leave without saying anything, why did I have to hear from Liv that you didn’t think I could handle what you’d done when I could and I did. Why didn’t we fix things when we had the chance. When we were both finally ready, and we both knew it.

The phone vibrated again to remind him he hadn’t opened the message. He looked at the time. It was past 11pm. He wondered how long Rafael had spent writing the message, how many versions he’d gone through, how many times he’d tried to send it and backed out. He remembered the fight that had broken them up, and all the other fights leading up to it. How everything between them had fallen apart because neither of them wanted to be the first to reach out.

He brushed a hand across his eyes and opened the message to respond.

_You still owe me a drink._

 

_**\- v -** _

“Raf.”

“No.”

“You’re supposed to celebrate birthdays, Rafael. It’s a thing.”

“Sonny, I’m working. This paper needs finished by—”

“That paper needs finished by next week, you’re not using that as an excuse.”

Sometimes Rafael hated that Sonny listened when he talked. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes.

Sonny padded over the floor to him and placed a cool hand on the back of his neck. “You need to stop staring at that computer screen,” he murmured softly. “Come out, celebrate with me.”

“I don’t—”

“Is this because it’s your fiftieth?”

“Sonny, please, I’m not having a mid-life crisis at 50.” Technically the mid-life crisis had happened a few years earlier. This was just some kind of aftershock.

Sonny’s thumbs started to rub circles into his skin, down his neck and along his shoulders. “Okay. So what’s the problem? Because I know it’s not this thing you practically finished writing last week.”

“It’s not a  _problem_ ,” Rafael protested. He leaned back and Sonny’s arms wound around his chest. “I’m tired, and I don’t want to go out and drink and make small talk with people. I just want to stay home.”

Sonny snorted and tried to hide it by pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

Rafael shrugged, Sonny’s tone not helping his feeling of foolishness. “You wanted to go out. I didn’t want you to think you’re getting married to an old man.”

He felt Sonny start to laugh. “Raf, if I was worried about marrying a grumpy old man I would have just said no when you proposed.”

Rafael unwrapped himself from Sonny’s arms and snapped his laptop shut. “That's it, the wedding’s off.” He started towards the bedroom.

Sonny followed him, laughing in earnest now. “What, again? I thought it was my turn to call it off.”

“No, you called it off last time because I said frozen desserts tasted as good as the freshly made ones.”

“I’m glad you’re keeping track,” Sonny joked, following him through the bedroom door.

Rafael tapped a finger to his temple. “I remember everything.”

“In spite of the ravages of time.” 

“Fuck you,” Rafael said, the words just slightly undercut by the laughter in them.

“Hmm.” Sonny crowded in behind Rafael, pushing him back until the back of his knees pressed against the edge of the bed. “Now there’s a suggestion.”

Rafael smirked, dropping onto the bed and reaching up to pull Sonny down with him. “It’s my birthday, not yours.”


End file.
